Mental Health Reflections

It’s OK Being “The Quiet One”

If I’m out and amongst people I know well, chances are I’m one of the loudest in the group.

If I’m out and amongst mostly strangers, 100% I’m the quietest in the group.

Upon meeting new people I always see how thrown they are to find someone who isn’t loud, drunk and, according to them, “not having a good time”.

It’s interesting to me because, I am having a good time. In my own way. Yet everyone seems to think that unless you’re loud and involved, it automatically means you’re dull and bored.

I’m observant. Not when it comes to things or places – I’m usually in my own world. I’m observant when it comes to people. It’s nothing new for me. I like watching people interact and figure out how best to approach them should I ever meet them again.

It’s common place to believe that if someone isn’t outwardly enjoying themselves, that must mean they’re not. It’s not the case. Some people have social anxiety, others are shy but if they didn’t want to be there then they wouldn’t. Trust me.

Perhaps not all the time, but for me I know that, while I may be quiet, that doesn’t mean others get to push me around. I’m not easily swayed or pressured. I care about others but I have my own morals and principals which steer me right.

Being quiet doesn’t mean you’re un-opinionated either. It most likely means that you’re considerate and take every view and fact into account before forming an opinion. Personally, I’m great with written word and I often take time to think about what I want to say and how I want to say it.

It’s important to me that I construct my words carefully and considerately, rather than blurt the first thing that comes to mind in hopes of winning an argument based on the quantity of words then their quality.

People often feel sad for those who are quiet.

I might understand. Except people feel sad because they feel that they’re not confident in themselves.

That isn’t the case.

You don’t have to be loud to be outspoken.
You can be both quiet and capable.

The problem is the world wants you to show it. To prove it somehow. Always looking for proof.

The proof is in the way I conduct myself every day.
The proof is in the way I apply myself.

I’m coming to realise that when someone says “You don’t have much self-confidence” sure, sometimes that’s the case. But at the same time I know my own capabilities. Perhaps the issue isn’t that I don’t have confidence in myself, but they don’t have confidence in me.

Their solution is that, in order to have confidence in me, I have to change who I am to meet their needs. To meet their requirements of how a typical person should act.

I’m done being asked to change who I am.

I can be the loudest one in the group, or the quietest one in the room. There is no in-between.

I no longer feel guilty because I don’t meet an imaginary expectation others have set.

Even when other’s aren’t OK with you being quiet, It’s okay being the quiet one.

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